My Heartaches

There is not a day that I don't think about them because I know I don't want to forget.

It’s coming up on a year since my family and I suffered so much pain. At one point in time; we were a very close family. Now it seems things have changed.

My Aunt Karen found peace in her faith. The love in her heart shined brightly for others to see. Her patience to listen too and the keen advice she always offered was wonderful. She was a great wife and an incredible mother to her children. She was one of 7 children, 4 brothers and 2 younger sisters. Being able to share our lives with her was absolutely a wonderful. After being diagnosed with stage four, cancer; we were blessed to have her for another 12 years. Last July, her lung collapsed and the cancer was no longer in remission. Everyone was prepared when Karen took her last breath on Thursday, July 24th, 2008

Almost three years ago I watched my nephew, Anthony Cole come into this world and while visiting his grandfather in North Carolina he fell into their family pool and the water quickly filled his lungs. His little body was not strong enough to hold on. On Monday, July 28th, 2008; just four days after suffering the loss of my aunt; I received a hysterical phone call from my sister to tell me that my nephew was gone. I nearly lost my mind. How was I going to explain this to Anthony’s older brother Jonathan who was only six years old at the time and how was I going to tell my mother?

The what if’s and blames started to fill my head. I know now that it makes no difference to have those types of thoughts. I look back and think about the incredible memories I have of both of them and I want to feel joy but my sorrow continues to grow.

Anthony’s second birthday fell on Jonathan’s last day of school in the 1st grade. I let him play hooky so they could spend the day with each other. We had a small family party and Anthony shared a few of his first words along with a few loud YEAHS! Everyone was there and we were all happy. It is incredible how quickly life turns around.

If there is one thing I want to stress from this experience; it’s that there should be a gate around any pool with an alarm on it when there is no supervision. It was only a matter of minutes for everything to change.
I’m just really upset and I find it comforting to write sometimes.